Just 4 Today...

The Power of Three

"That's What Friends Are For"- Various Artists

Words cannot express how much I love these boys!!! We are TRUE CREW until the day we die!

We have been there for each other in ways that blood-relatives are not there for one another. 

Whether through text, a phone call, an impromptu dinner at one of our houses or spending the night tearing up the dancefloor, we manage to keep each other close.

We have helped one another through troubled relationships and celebrated with one another when we were in healthy ones. 

Whether doing the small things like adding music to each others iPods or having a glass of wine, all the way to footing the bill for something when one of our pockets were light or offering a roof over one of our heads when we had nowhere to go, we have always been in each other's corners.

No matter what is going on, when we are around each other, it is an instant good time.

WE JUST ROLL LIKE THAT!!! 

Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing

 

"I'm Free"- T. Dexter

I woke up this morning and something told me that everything is going to be all right.

Have you ever had one of those nights of sleep that just left you absolutely refreshed, invigorated and ready to take on what ever the day was ready to bring?

I find it a funny thing, you know, the way in which the world works. God truly does have a plan.

I was talking to a friend this morning on my way to work and he has been going through... I am talking about SERIOUSLY. I kid you not, God put the right words in my mouth that brought him comfort. Even I had to take a second and listen to the words that were coming from my mouth. They were flowing like water, pouring down like rain. God had to be all over it!

I don't know, even though I am still in transition, trying to find a place to permanently call my residence, I am feeling more and more like the old Kenny every day!

I have a smile on my face, hope in my heart and a purpose for doing what I am doing.

I feel good.

Letter To My Heart

"Fall For You"- Shanice

Dear Heart,

I know that you have been bruised. I know that you have been fooled. I know that you have gone a long time without being attended to. I know that you have gotten your hopes up in the past, only to be let down.

I know that you are recovering right now from a huge blow. I know that you are wondering if you should ever let go again...

I am here to tell you that it is okay. You fought a good fight and even though it may seem like you lost... THIS IS ONLY ROUND ONE.

In ROUND TWO, you will be stronger. You will approach the situation a totally different way. Instead of being passive, your aggressive side will kick in. Coming out of your corner, swinging, you will go directly for what you want, accepting nothing less.

You will love again. It will come in its own time. It will come in the form of the RIGHT person for you. Someone who is a good match for you. Someone who will complement the rhythmn of your beat.

There's no looking back, only looking forward.

Be open to love. Don't rush it... just be open.

XOXOXOXO, me

Took A Breather...

"Get Away"- B. Brown

I did something I literally have not done in over four years. I just up and bought a plane ticket at, on second thought, what was probably not a real invitation from someone who has become a really good friend. Real invitation or not, just disappearing from my life for four days was just what the doctor ordered!

Only a few people know where I went and I plan on keeping it that way. The destination is not important, but the effect that the trip had on me is the key element to the whole story.

Between moving out stress, election stress, moving in stress, etc. I was completely wiped out. So much so, I can't believe how much I slept during this extended weekend.

I took this time to really put some ideas into place. I took time to  put some plans in order and reconcile things in my head that desperately needed reconciliation. Stealing from my girl, Janet Jackson, I took time to "Water My Spiritual Garden."

The best part of my "Getting Back To Me" weekend was that it just flowed. There was no big to-do or major ritual. I just really watched movies, laid in bed reading magazines, began putting my iPod in order, ate takeout, etc.

Thanks to my friends in my host city who showed me hospitality and warmth (guess what... the people I hung out with--- I had never met in person... yup, I was really bold and it was just what I needed!).

I am so proud of myself. Let me tell you why... I know that I come across as a strong person, but I am just as vulnerable and affected by fears/insecurities as the next guy. It has been so long since I did anything by myself that I have to admit that it felt odd many times--- especially when my friends were at work on Monday and I was left to my own devices in this foreign city. I did it though, and now that it is over, I feel great about it. I know that I will be okay.

I sit here in the airport, about to board my plane back to my own timezone in Las Vegas, back to my own life.

This time, I am going to live life on my own terms.

Flashback Friday! 11/7/2008

 

"ABC, 123"- The Jackson 5

Yes, this is your boy at the young age of 3! My mother cut off my fro because I used to fall asleep with grape gum in my mouth ALL OF THE TIME. The problem with that was I used to sleep with my mouth open. The gum would fall out and I would roll around in it. I guess that grape gum in my afro was not a good look! hahaha 

Life on Loan

"Invisible"- J. Hudson

NOTE TO SELF: WHEN IN LOVE, KEEP A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOU YOURSELF... JUST IN CASE.

Now that the dust has settled on my break up I can say that that is one of the many lessons I learned.

I have said it before, but while in my last relationship I felt like I was not living the life I wanted to live. I was living the life that my partner had wanted. My life was no longer, but the life he led was on loan to me. Whether I wanted it or not, I had it. Once I could no longer take the charade, it was then and only then, I was able to take back my mojo.

I am so thankful I was able to process my break up before it happened. Because of that, I don't foresee myself waking up in the middle of the night crying, wanting to pick up the phone in hopes of making it work, or even sitting around waiting for my ex to get it together. Shockingly, I did all of that WHILE I was still in the relationship (so sad and pitiful!).

I woke up today... looked around and thanked God for giving me MY life back!

A Sight For Sore Eyes

 

"Celebration"- Kool and the Gang

I voted for hope.

I voted for unity.

I voted for the future.

I voted for Barack Obama.

I voted for change.

“Young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled — Americans sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America."

- President Elect Barack Obama

In Less Than 24 Hours...

 

"Reach"- Gloria Estefan

My vote is cast. What about yours?

BIG Weekend!!!! (Post Wrap-Up)

"Roll Out"- LaBelle

OHMYGOSH!!! This is definitely a Monday! I thank God for giving me the strength to make it in to work after my action-packed and emotional weekend. If you read my last post, then you know that not only did I get the chance to see Maxwell in concert on Friday and Patti LaBelle in concert on Saturday, but I also moved out of the house that my ex and I shared for almost four years on Sunday.

    

I have always wanted to see my favorite male singer, Maxwell in concert and on Friday my wish came true. The Pearl at the Palms Hotel and Casino was a perfect venue for his show. Large, yet, intimate, there was no bad seat in the whole house. Opening for the king of neo-soul was new artist Jazmine Sullivan (I admire her swagger and love her single, "Need U Bad," but think that her entire cd is sketchy, at best. She did shine though during her live performance, which makes me want to go back and give her a second chance). Sullivan's stage was very basic and dark. When it came time for the headliner's act, the entire stage had been changed. There were several platforms that had a staircase cutting down the middle (imagine what the dancers on Dreamgirls' "Steppin' To The Bad Side" were dancing on) used for his 10-piece band (which, by the way, were on loan to him by none other than Sade!!!) to spread themselves out on. Everyone on stage was DRESSED for the GODS, evoking 1940's Harlem-a-la-Eddie Murphy's Harlem Nights). The show started when Maxwell descended down the stairs as the band opened with his song "Get To Know You." For an hour and a half, Maxwell sang (he sounds even better live than he does on his cds) all of his hits including "Sumthin=Sumthin'", "Lifetime," and "This Woman's Work." He brought the house down with "Fortunate," and a rendition of Al Green's "Simply Beautiful." He even debuted two new songs, "Pretty Wings," and "Bad Habits" (get ready to LOVE that one!). After the show was over he came back out and performed "Whenever, Wherever, Whatever"-- not only did he make it beautiful, but his delivery of it was sexy as hell! My personal favorite performance of the night was "Til The Cops Come Knockin'"--- I swear he sang it for close to 15 minutes. I was dizzy after it was over. Not only did a woman throw her panties on stage, but Maxwell, himself said he was getting worked up during the song and hinted at getting an erection while he was singing it! I WAS DONE!!!! What is so funny, is that Soyraia flaked at the last second and my friend Michael filled in by taking her ticket, but he only stayed for Jazmine Sullivan's set and the beginning of Maxwell. As soon as he left ALL of the single women SWOOPED on me. Poor things!

 
I didn't even have time to fully recover from seeing my musical-baby-daddy before heading to see the blessing that is Patti LaBelle. This was my second Patti LaBelle concert and by far my favorite. I screamed so much at the first on that I don't think I had the chance to really enjoy what an awesome entertainer she is. Though I was surrounded by thousands of people, I really felt like she was singing right to me, like I was having my own private listening party. For two hours, Ms. LaBelle made her way all over the stage, providing a little "Patti Talk", kicking off shoes, and singing notes that should be illegal or prescribed in small dosages as to prevent overdose. The most touching part of the show was when Patti did a tribute to Jennifer Hudson, calling her a little angel and then singing the HELL OUT OF "One Night Only." She broke out in tears before the song was over. Of course she gave out a shout out to Luther Vandross, Isaac Hayes, Bernie Mac, Sean Levert, Donda West (Kanye's mother), Bud Ellison, her mother, father and three sisters. She called all of those people her O.G. (original gangsta) friends. In that moment, I realized that Patti LaBelle really has seen a lot of death in her life and has come out on the other side. Very few know the type of pain she has felt and to think about how she has overcome is very inspiring indeed. She closed the show with her signature, "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." The show was over (so over that one of the back-up singers picked up her purse, that was by her feet the whole time--- no lie!--- and walked smooth off the stage!), but the audience was not having it! We were yelling, screaming and stomping our feet. I have never heard anything like it... not even for Janet Jackson! John Stanley, her musical director, went off stage and rounded everyone back up and made them come back. It was soooooooo impromptu. Impromptu, but ended up being the finest performance of the night!!! When Patti returned to stage EVERYONE rushed to the edge of it. Security couldn't even stop us and they gave up even trying. Patti took that opportunity to thank us and SHOW OUT! Her rendition of "I'll Stand By You" brought me to tears and now stands as one of my favorite songs of all time! Wait until I upload my pics from the concert! You are going to gag!!!!!!!!!!

Well, then Sunday came along! MOVING DAY. I can't say that I was looking forward to it or dreading it. What I can say is that it had to come to pass. The day was both emotionally and physically taxing. I did the moving completely by myself. I did not expect my ex to help me, but I think I am more shocked that my friends did not even offer to help me. I think that Michael may have offered  on Friday, and I know that TallT wanted to help but he had to work (he let me use his truck for the day to haul my boxes to my storage unit), but surprisingly, X-Man is the one that I have yet to hear from, to see how I am doing. Especially since I was soooooo there for him during and after his split from his ex. I can't put too much energy in it though, because I am sure that it is not intentional. He is busy with increased responsibility at work, new classes for his second Master's  degree and his current boyfriend. I have been guilty of being ghost in the past, so I guess what goes around comes around, right? Right. Anyways, thirteen hours later, I am still moving. I don't know why. It is not like I was moving a lot of stuff. I think it is just because, after living somewhere for four years, there are a lot of memories and things hidden in the oddest of places. I really try to be independent and initially wanted to do the move by myself, but have to admit, that I wish one of my friends would have been there to help keep my spirits up the couple of times I broke down (not because I want to save the relationship, but because, to be leaving the way I am, with next to nothing, makes me feel like all of the sacrifice was a waste). Anyways, though I am officially moved out, I have to go back this afternoon with additional boxes to pick up some odds and ends and clean up (yes, I am nice like that). After a few bitter exchanges, we (my ex and I) have agreed to sit down on Wednesday and discuss the division of assets and debt (I am not holding my breath, but this is his last chance to show me that he is the decent person I hope he is). Ain't that some stuff?

Some weekend, hunh? What did you guys do?