Just 4 Today...

Massage Time!!!

"Just Kick It"- Xscape

Yesterday TallT and I hit the streets in search of a nail shop in our new neighborhood. We wanted mani and pedicures.

I felt so bad because I thought I was betraying the crew I affectionately call "the girls" at another shop next to my old house. They are so funny and I have been going to them for the last two years or so. Their chairs are often broken and their prices are (what I thought was) fair. I have always had good service from them, but I really didn't know any thing different since this was the first shop I had ever been to.

Anyways, TallT and I were driving down the street and we hit this intersection that had two salons, one on the right and one on the left. We tried the one on the right first and it was closed due to Chinese New Year. So we quickly went to the one on the left to see if they were closed as well.

Thank God we did. We walked into this place called Lily's and let me tell you, Lily, the owner must know what it takes to keep people coming!!! The service was out of the world! They put "the girls" to shame! Lily's is a full service salon, The staff is fun, they provide you with beverages and snacks while you are there, the chairs are high tech and the place is decorated rather hip and modern. Oh, did I mention, that her prices are cheaper than my old nail salon?!!!!

Well, let me get to the good part... Lily's also offers massages. Her husband is a certified massage therapist and works during the day at The Venetian Hotel's award winning spa, where they charge over 270 dollars for massage packages. He came out to give us demos on our legs after the pedicures and I about fell out! Needless to say, I booked my appointment for today at 5pm. TallT's is scheduled for Monday at the same time!

The best part, he is offering an 80 minute massage for $70!!! I have not had a professional massage since April of 2007 (as pictured above, when I was vacationing in the Bahamas) and for some reason, I think that a massage is just what the doctor is ordering. I am trying to turn over a new leaf and would like to have all of that negative energy just pushed out of my body!!!

I am counting down the hours on the clock!!!

Making Peace

  "I Wish You Well" - Jasmine Guy

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

My brain, body and spirit have been very busy over the last couple of weeks. With moving, getting my dogs back into my possession, furniture shopping and overall adjusting to my new life I guess one can say that I am EXHAUSTED!

With this exhaustion comes a much needed/appreciated sense of control over my life again that I am more than happy about having.

On the other hand, there are a couple of areas that I really need to make peace with. I have wrestled with both, but am ready to take whatever comes what may. I can only speak my mind once or twice and then just let the chips fall where they do.

The first area that I am adamant about making peace with is with my ex-boyfriend. I am so over all of the bickering and the ridiculous behavior. It didn't work and now it is time to move on. I no longer want to allow myself to be sucked into a web of confusion and hurt. I want to be keep things strictly professional between us. We have bills that we have to pay and that is it. Unfortunately, due to all of the stress and pressure he has brought to my life in the last few months, I have absolutely no urge to try to be friends with him. He will always see things his way and I am entitled to see them mine. Frankly, it is an impossible situation.

The second has to do with my current boyfriend's ex-boyfriend and the kids that they share. It is just too much to get into, but I really want to sit back and let my boyfriend work it out. My problem is not with him and his love and what he wants to do for the kids. Quite honestly, my biggest problem is that I don't trust his ex as far as I can throw him and I think that he is milking the situation. Mine and my boyfriend's conversations about the subject have been tense to say the least. Even though my grievances are with his ex, I feel like since the kids are involved it sounds like I am anti-them when nothing could be further from the truth.

Anyways, there are so many things going on in the world that are bigger than these two very small situations. Bottom line, my ex will probably always be that guy who acts the way he does (shoot, he is my EX for a reason!) and I have a feeling that I will always have some disdain for my current boyfriend's ex (I can see right through him).

Though I might not like either situation, I have to just let it be what it is and not let these two people take a front seat in mind or my life.

Taking It Back...

"Coming Out Of The Dark"- G. Estefan

Welcome Back Kenny!!!

That is what I told myself all weekend long.

In case you don't remember, I moved into my apartment with TallT over the course of the weekend.

I am so thankful to God because I feel like things are finally shifiting in my life in the direction I want them to be.

Just to let you know, this move did not go without its own fair share of drama (my ex called the day before I moved giving me a hard time and pulled out on our agreement of the division of furniture. I think he thought it was going to devastate me, but I handled it in stride and kept it moving. He never even saw me sweat. I just told him that his behavior was to be expected and that I would make sure that I was taken care of. He, of course, acted in a childish manner and even had the audacity to have my left over belongings and dogs-- in their kennel--- sitting outside on the ground when I came to pick them up on Friday night. Poor thing.

Anyways, I feel so free right now. For the first time in four years, I feel like the sky is the limit. I feel like I have the right and the option to be happy. I feel like the old Kenny is surfacing again.

By the way, the apartment is so cute. It is quite empty, but it is really cute. We will be decorating for the next couple of months and come the summer we will be smooth sailing.

The beauty of life, for me, is that it is constantly changing.

I gave mine away some years back.

In 2009, I am taking it back. 

Blastoff!!!!

"America's Song"- Various Artists

To be a black man in America is a good thing today.

I love the fact that Barack Obama is a president for "everybody", but today, when I watched him take the oath of office, I felt a sense of pride. A sense of pride because I was watching a fellow black man achieve and accept the highest office in the land. Prior to last year's elections I never even thought that a person of color would ever be President of the United States.

During his speech at the Democratic National Convention, I have fallen in line with the unity that Barack Obama is bringing into the political landscape that is so often defined by race and economic status. Something today, for me, was different. I felt proud, not only as a man, but more importantly, as a BLACK man.

I walked around today, not afraid of being too threatening, not afraid of what people would think of me, but more proud than anything else. I felt good in my skin.

Another thing that made me so proud was seeing the first family step into its new role. The Obama unit seems so well adjusted and it does my heart so much good to see a black family shone in a positive light in the media. I am inspired.

I wonder what his daughters must be thinking. Sasha is probably too young to really grasp what is really going on, but something tells me that Malia is in tune with the magnitude of what this means... It will be interesting to see them grow up. I feel like they are family.

Don't ask me why, but for a brief second I longed to be back in the military again (Barack Obama is in charge of the military)... but I got over it REALLY QUICKLY!!! hahahaha

An estimated  1 million-plus people showed up to witness history in the making and millions more around the world tuned in at home and at work. I kid you not, EVERYONE at my job was streaming the inauguration from their desktop computers. I refused to move from the minute the presidential party processed in and processed out (I even stayed put through Aretha Franklin's HORRIBLE rendition of 'My Country Tis Of Thee').

I watched the festivities via television and the Internet over the weekend, but I can only imagine the feeling that must be passing through Washington DC right now.

I called my parents in California to let them know that the inauguration was in progress and they told me that they were watching and recording it. In that moment, I felt their pride. I was brought to tears just thinking about what they have seen in their own lives. I know that this is even more important for them than it is for me.

President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama are doing me in FOR REAL. They are the real life Heathcliff and Claire Huxtable. I know that they are not perfect and must definitely have their off days, just like every one else, but they are truly making my heart swoon with the support they have shown one another throughout this entire process. I hope that our people are taking notes. They are an example of the strong black family and I am loving it. 

The road ahead is long. 

We might get tired along the way.

But I am ready.   

Let's see where we are four years from now. 

Back Down Memory Lane

     

"Back Down Memory Lane" - T. Ellis

I am feeling really nostalgic today... If you would like to see this and a lot of other pics from my childhood I invite you to one of my photo albums on the web.

 http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=e6o55e5.yoywa7h&x=0&y=-erazp7&localeid=en_US

Enjoy!

Oooooooooooooh! BUSTED!!!!!!

"(I Always Feel Like) Somebody's Watching Me" - Rockwell

I swear, there is never a dull moment in this little life of mine! I learn and find out different things everyday.

Today's lesson: Be careful what you do, because you never know who is watching! hahahaha

Cutting to the chase: I witnessed one of my supposed straight buddies doing "unmentionable" things to another guy on this fine Internet of ours!

I am sure it is my buddy for several reasons...

1. A third person was recording it so his face was in plain view.
2. He spoke directly into the camera.
3. He has a very recognizable tattoo of a skull on his left arm.

With all of this being said, it is no surprise that he would get down with a guy. We (because you know that this was just too good to keep to myself!!! hahahaha Actually TallT was the one who found it and shared it with me and our friend Alan. I then passed the information on to XMan...) have always suspected it even though he has a girlfriend. Even she has her suspicions. Also, he is just TOO touchy feely when he is around.

I am not going to tell the site, because while it is funny for us to laugh in our little circle, it is not my intention to post his pictures or video from the site (yes, downloadable PHOTOGRAPHIC evidence!!!!) on my blog. We are not close, but some stuff just isn't right!

I will, however, share a little backstory.

Living in Las Vegas is an everyday eye-opening experience. I mean, people are basically allowed to do anything they want. Let's just say that when people are allowed to walk the streets with open bottles of alcohol, you are opening the door to a whole lot of foolishness!

A while back our buddy had told us about how he went to this place called Bait and Tackle (I promise I thought this place was some fishing/hunting store... and since he is caucasian I never even questioned it). Turns out that Bait and Tackle is just a front for one of those "get straight guys to do stuff on camera either solo or with other guys for money" type of places.

Well, he must have been hard up for some coins because he admitted to doing a solo scene. We were curious to find it back then, but he would not give us the website (remember Bait and Tackle was just a front).

Well, out of nowhere, he and his brother (I guess they both initially did solo scenes) were invited to Hawaii by Bait and Tackle. B and T was planning on bringing 7 or 8 guys to the islands to record them getting it on for a week.

Well, our buddies brother had a fit when he got there when he found out that they were not interested in him doing solo scenes so they sent him home immediately (and then dogged him out on the website's blog AND posted a nude picture of him smoking and drinking a bottle of HYPNOTIC just to add insult to injury!!!!!). Our buddy reportedly (as documented on the site's blog) kept his mouth shut.

We were aware that the brother got sent home because he was so irate about it. Our friend, however, stayed, telling us that he just helped out with the camera work, but did not do anything with any guys...

Okay, whatever!

TallT, being the detective that he is, has long since found the elusive website and continues to go to it every week to check out the new "models" in hopes of seeing someone else that we do know (since it is local operation!). Well, the website must have recently posted the Hawaii footage and what do you know, our buddy's story did NOT check out!!!!!!

Oh the video (shakes my head in shame and embarassment).... all 27 minutes of it!!!

For a "straight" guy, he handled it like a champ!!! hahahahahaha He looked like he had obviously had practice! hahahahahaha

I will give him credit. He one up'd us faithful XTubers. He was posted on one of those paid membership websites. He probably thought we would never find him but we did!!! I will tell you what happens when we let him in on it... I know it is going to be hilarious!!!!

Also, don't even look for the website... you are not missing much (trust me!). It is just quite hilarious because we know him!

One last thing, I have read blogs and heard of people one day inadvertently seeing a friend or loved one hitting it out on the Internet, but I NEVER thought I would see any of my folks on it! Go figure!

I guess one thing is for sure... my buddy will never be President of the United States. hahahaha

Masterpiece

"This Is Us"- K. Cole

I usually don't do this, but EVERYONE must see the movie that, in my opinion, is a shoe in for the Academy Award this year for Best Picture.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was probably the best movie I have seen in recent years.

Crossing all age, color and economic walls, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, an adaptation of the novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald, reaches deep into the human spirit and connects us all with a story that mystifies and captivates whomever is watching.

I kid you not, several times, while watching the movie, I looked around and saw grown men and women, of all ages, sitting forward in their seats, giving the movie their full attention. At almost 3 hours long, that is no easy feat.

This is a love story, plain and simple. It is about relationships. It is about life. I am speechless.

Here is the synopsis from TeenHollywood.com:

"I was born under unusual circumstances." And so begins "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," adapted from the 1920s story by F. Scott Fitzgerald about a man who is born in his eighties and ages backwards: A man, like any of us, who is unable to stop time. We follow his story set in New Orleans from the end of World War I in 1918, into the 21st century, following his journey that is as unusual as any man's life can be. Directed by David Fincher and starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett with Taraji P. Henson, Tilda Swinton, Jason Flemyng, Elias Koteas and Julia Ormond, "Benjamin Button," is a grand tale of a not so ordinary man and the people and places he discovers along the way, the loves he finds, the joys of life and the sadness of death, and what lasts beyond time.

Buy your tickets today.

My Letter To J.L. King

"Because Of You" - K. Clarkson

***

Greetings Mr. King,

I hope that this email reaches you in the best of spirits and health.

As a purchaser and reader of two of your books, On The Down Low and Love On A Two Way Street, I have to admit that both left me feeling some kind of way. If you don't mind, I would like to leave you a little feedback.

As a black openly gay man, I must admit that the idea of reading your first book On The Down Low intrigued me... until I began turning the pages. Though I read the book in about 4 hours, I could not help but feel disappointed and hurt by the way that it read more like a smear campaign of your brothers and fear starter for your sisters.

I understand your personal situation, with your ex wife and the way that your dirty laundry came to light, but was that any reason to really take it there the way that you did? I found it to be quite subjective, reckless and irresponsible.

I read On The Down Low almost five years ago while I was in the military, unable to live the authentic life I wanted to live. I will say this... I was very happy to not re-enlist. One of the reasons was because I did not want to end up resembling anything that was within the pages of your first book.

I recently purchased your latest release, the novel, Love On A Two Way Street.

On the contrary, I much more preferred this from you as opposed to On The Down Low... only because you had the opportunity to tell a story.

While it was not without its faults (drawn out storylines, mulitiple characters with very little closure), I have to admit that it was page turner and kept my attention the entire way through.

What was up with the ending though? It was obvious that it was a setup for a sequel, but it was such a build up to the reader, only to be dropped off of the cliff.

For your information, I really hope that you are trying to get Love On The Elevator and the sequel on the big screen. There were so many interesting characters and connections, I kept thinking about how it would, if treated in the proper manner, be awesome cinematically.

I am sorry if I come off as attacking you. It is not my intent to put you off. I have been affected in my life by reading your work and I feel just as strongly almost five years after reading your first book and felt that after reading a second one that I should try to contact you to let you know the effect your writing has had on me.

Mr. King, please be responsible in the future when it comes to your work. I am sure you know that you have a  powerful voice in this "down low" arena. Fear may be the answer that lines your pockets, but there are a lot of people who have to deal with the consequences that you are not aware of.

Peace and Blessings,
Kenny King

P.S.- Please feel free to visit my blog at http://just4today.typepad.com

***

I sent this to him via his website. I wonder if he will read or respond.

Be heard.

Definition of a Rebound

  

"The Definition"- Brandy

I hearby call this meeting to order.

Something has come to my attention a couple of times in the last month. I wasn't sure if I was going to talk about it or not, but here goes.

TallT and I are trying to make a new relationship work and though we are pretty well received by most, there are some people who are writing us off as a "rebound" relationship...

"Rebound"- what is exactly a rebound relationship? I honestly, don't know what is a good definition that everyone accepts, because all of the people I have talked to and have accused me of being in one not only miss the mark of how I feel about my union with TallT but each have a different definition of the term "rebound."

TallT and I are both fresh out of relationships and we have conversations about that because we don't want either to let their last relationship be a cause for us not working in the future. Though neither of us want to pursue or rekindle our old relationships, we do acknowledge that there is residual there. He was in his for 3 years and I was in mine for 4 years. 

Just because we are fresh out of relationships does not, however, mean that we are fresh out of love with our exes. This is where I think that we are being miss-classified as a "rebound" relationship.

I can't speak for TallT, but I can say that, for myself, I had long since checked out of my relationship, emotionally, by the time that I left. I stayed through the bulk of my pain, in hopes that the situation would change. When I walked through the door, I did it with no intention on coming back and also knowing that I was ready for someone else who would SHOW me that he loved me.

In my mind, a rebound is there to ease the pain that one feels after a break up, but I reconciled my feelings before even leaving, so I would have no reason for a rebound type of situation. I am moving full-steam ahead towards the game-winning slam dunk!

I feel safe with TallT. We talk, we enjoy each other's company, we relate. That is sooooooooo important to me. TallT is my friend and was a friend first. It doesn't hurt that he is drop dead gorgeous. He is crazy about me. And that is all that matters to me. 

We are making our own rules and following them.

What is your definition of a "rebound"?  

The Problem With Living in a Glass House is...

"The Trouble With Love Is" - K. Clarkson

...it is easily broken.

No matter how beautiful it may look to those on the outside looking in, the house could be gone in a blink of an eye.

Whether due to an earthquake, flood, strong storm or even if a rock is thrown... if hit in the right place, the entire house will come crashing down.

I looked at the calendar today, thinking it was the 4th of January, but had my dates mixed up. Yesterday was January 4th, the day that would have marked mine and my ex's 4 year anniversary.

Wow. Not that I am pining over a relationship with him... I just think that it is worthy of a post.

Instead of being sad about the relationship not working (even though, at times, I still have my questions and some things I would liked to get off of my chest), I am in that mental space where I look back on the relationship and think about all of the lessons I learned and continue to learn.

I had, what some would classify, a fairytale life (on the surface). I was with a man who made a LOT of money, and when in public, showered me with all kinds of attention, but in private, we had our issues.

Basically, I was living in a glass house.

With my decision to leave, and my subsequent decision to date someone else the entire house came crashing down. My ex and I don't even speak anymore. We are now communicating through a third party, which seems ridiculous to me, but I have resigned myself to go with the flow, because I am no longer in the business of trying to get him to see my point. I am only interested in him making things right so we both can move forward with our lives.

Anyways, accepting that I lived in this glass house that I allowed to be built around me and also acknowledging how easily it was shattered to pieces, makes me want to do nothing more than build for myself a new house that stands on solid foundation.

I want to have a say-so on how fast this house is built, the floor plan, color on the walls, landscaping surrounding the house and even the drapes that will hang on the windows. I mean all of this literally and figuratively.

Literally, I want my next home to have my influences in it. When someone walks in I want them to say, "Yeah, Kenny lives here."

Figuratively, I want to build my current relationship on the things that really matter and not allow the shortcomings and let-downs of my last relationship do anything to tear us apart.

No, this time my house will be made of solid brick and re-inforced like a bomb shelter... okay, a really cute bomb shelter! hahahaha