"If You Love Me"- Brownstone
I was talking to TallT's mother today and she is going through some tough times in a relationship.
Throughout our conversation I learned of a very complex relationship of hers that lasted 8 years.
She is feeling pain because she feels that her boyfriend never put her in front of others in his life... even after being together so long.
It made me think about how easy it is to spout out those words, "I love you" day after day. With each day, if no action goes along with the words, don't they only become habit/obligatory instead a firm declaration?
It made me wonder why people get into relationships if they are not ready to really put in the work for them? (I have loved three men in my life (2 ex's and TallT). Of the two relationships that did not work out, I left with the satisfaction of knowing that I gave all of the love I had to give to each of them and I showed it. I took no regrets with me... only the experiences.)
It also made me wonder why people say "I love you" without really putting in the work to make it mean anything.
We listen to love songs, watch movies, know how we want to treated but don't always give what another needs.
When in a relationship, I show love by doing a a variety of things:
- I show love by wanting to be present and in tune with you.
- I show love through cards (I got TallT so many that he finally told me to stop giving them to him! hahaha).
- I show love by listening to what you want and surprising you with it when you least expect it.
- I show love by giving of myself emotionally, physically and financially.
- I show love by trying to make your life easier (just listen to Destiny's Child's "Cater To You")
I am not going to lie... sometimes in love I come on strong, but love IS such a strong emotion. Hell, no one ever said that love is comfortable, but I do believe that it is fulfilling. Besides, I only come on strong when things are out of whack in the relationship... which is going to happen from time to time in every relationship.
Ouestions: How do YOU show love in a relationship? What areas can you get better at in an effort to show love? What is important for you to feel from another in a relationship?
1. I show love in a relationship by doing things to make my partner feel comfortable. I'll wash his car, iron his clothes while he's in the shower, prepare his favorite meal on a whim, take him on a date.
2. Listening and paying attention to what he says and then taking action on what I learn.
3. It's important for me to feel that i'm worth something to my partner. I never want to feel unneeded or undesired.
Posted by: Norris | July 05, 2009 at 05:36 PM