A lot has been going on with me over the last two or three weeks.
I have been committed to getting my swagger back.
I have been dedicated to the gym and have gotten myself out of the house and been more social again.
It is common for me to sit down and chill whenever there is a storm around me, but this storm had been going on too long and I could feel myself losing touch.
I was losing touch to those who are important to me, the things I liked to do and I was even losing touch with the person I had worked so hard to become all because in the process of parking it, I was becoming someone else.
I looked in the mirror and I did not recognize the insecure, out of control whimp I had become.
I was living in fear of what was happening around me. I was in fear of what was going on with my job, past relationships and agreements, family members and current relationships. I was afraid to say anything to anyone because everyone around me is stressed out and has short fuses. One wrong word and everything could come crashing down. It was all quite paralyzing.
I had to snap out of it. If things were to crash then so be it!
Thank God I did.
I just had to realize that I can only do my best by everyone I know and keep it moving. I was putting all kinds of energy into others thinking that they were going to reciprocate what I wanted/needed, but finally accepted that each of these people had their own things that they were going through. They needed time to put their own puzzles together.
Whether they could reciprocate or not, I had to show them love and respect while doing the same for me.
Once it clicked I was able to come up out of my funk and make some much-needed changes in my life.
This is only the beginning though. I feel my inner-strength building up again.