Man, I went down.
2009, for me, was like no other year.
Though there was a lot of change in my life, much of the time I felt stagnated.
Out of control.
Realizing I was falling, I tried to take control again.
Every time I tried something shook my foundation.
My job became stressful...
But the deepest cuts came when...
A person I loved seemed uninterested in me...
And a person I once loved forgot about past sacrifices and promises and made life very hard...
I became public enemy #1.
I allowed myself to become a victim.
Perhaps, to some, but my love is the GREATEST gift I have to give so I have no shame in saying I felt CRIPPLED by my emotions and the weight of the situations.
Not wanting to be the person I was allowing myself to become
I took some drastic measures.
"Let it all go," is what I thought to myself.
Not, "Let it all go" and live WITH it...
"Let it all go" and live WITHOUT it!
I made peace with my job situation and am keeping all options open.
After deep thought and consideration, instead of walking away, I decided to give a fair chance to the person I love and re-invigorate his interest in me.
In order to do so, I had to CUT ALL TIES with the person I once loved... emotional, mental and financial.
I LET IT ALL GO...
In three different ways...
I LET IT ALL GO.
I shut it down the last half of this year in order to get my mind right.
I look over my posts from earlier in the year and it is obvious that I was all over the place and running around in circles.
Through my self-imposed silence I was actually able to reconcile my feelings about EVERY THING.
I am on the mend.
I am healing.
I am beginning to appreciate the small things again.
I am accepting the changes and lessons of 2009...
And I am going to apply them in 2010.
I am SPRINGING BACK TO LIFE!
"I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path with least resistance
Livin' might mean, taking chances, they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more that just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance "